I thought I kind of had it together, but people kept complimenting me on my courage. And so I started thinking: should I be afraid? Next, I freaked out in Chinese class with everyone kindly giving me tips. It wasn't the tips that were frightening, but the litany of things I didn't know stripped away my (now apparent) veneer of calm.
The nice thing about freaking out is you eventually get tired. Yeah, I don't know how I'm getting from A to B, I don't know where I'll be staying or where I'll eat, but is that what I need to feel safe and happy - predictability? Whoa. I know what to wear tomorrow, what to do at work, what I'll do after work, know a routine for how to live? Summarizing for the folks at home: am I happy only if I limit my experience of life to what I already know? Somehow pretending I'm guaranteeing future happiness through repeatability? Double whoa.
I guess that's what lay behind my decision to eschew tours. Some part of me needs things to be messy and new and grand. I mean, c'mon, I'm an adult. Yeah, I've never been to Hangzhou's West Bus Terminal, but you hail a cab, stumble through some Enginese (the Mandarin yin to the yang of sentences like "Why you no like?") or point at a map, get overcharged a few bucks, get on a bus to the wrong destination, and then work my way from wherever I discover myself.
Of course, I'm not going to fall off the turnip truck either. I have some guide books, I'll bring an extra copy of my selections from them (Buddhist restaurants are vegetarian!) and post the data, including a scan of my passport and visa, to my email accounts so I can access it from an internet cafe (even Lhasa has several).
And - digging into the Shanghai guide a little more - on the 87th floor of the Jinmao Tower is the (what else could it be named) Cloud 9 Bar. Now there's something for my first day in China: to see the sun set in the west of the East and the million shinning lights of Shanghai rise up to greet the night.
Is it odd that happiness comes from not worrying about being happy?
Dan
PS Thanks to E.M. for reminding me how I felt heading to Ireland.
Bon voyage! Can't wait to hear what you're experiencing.
ReplyDeleteWill think of you everyday knowing you are truly happy in the joy of experiencing the many wonders of China. Looking forward to "hearing and seeing" all about your travels!
ReplyDeleteYes!!
ReplyDeleteAs you know I am on an adventure of my own. I am in the States, but was reminded last night of the perils that remain here, as I decided to bivouac in a Kentucky campground.
I awoke at about 5:30 to what sounded like the continuous unravelling of duct tape. It took a few minutes to remember that I wasn't sleeping in my own bed, and that I was indeed closer to Hazzard county! Yikes, what's going on?
Of course it was nothing, and I settled myself back to sleep.
After shushing an albino possum away from my bedroll.
Have an awesome trip! I love the spirit, as in get lost and figure out the details later!
Wow Dan. You are in China! Unreal the description of the metra you rode. It's nice to hear the pushing and shoving does not result in fights and thefts. Its just part of their getting home. Love reading what you are doing and what you are experiencing. Sounds like they love you very much!
ReplyDeleteAnother day in China! Can't wait to hear all about it!
ReplyDeleteI know you are hiking up the Yellwo Mt. near Tangkou, and staying on the summit. How beautiful can that be!
ReplyDeleteDan, love the pictures. You are brave. I feel like I'm on the trip with you. Without the hassle. Keep on trucking. Love Dad
ReplyDelete